Connie Today

Day 55, Thursday, May 7 2020

What’s you’re dream life like these days? Back on Day 19, I made reference to my dreams. I had been noticing that my dreams were noticeably different and vivid, and were markedly different from pre-covid dreams. Shortly after that, I started seeing published articles on the very same topic.  People around the world were reporting an increase in vivid dreams, and even reports of lucid dreams in which where one is aware of the act of dreaming. I wasn’t alone, it seems, and that hasn’t changed.

I’ve read some of the articles on covid-19 quarantine dreaming, and learned that its become such a “thing,” that there’s now a blog dedicated to peoples dreams during the coronavirus: https://www.idreamofcovid.com/dreams.

Experts are stating that the dreams are not unlike what was reported after 9/11. In summary, some of the theories for this phenomenon:

• We’re getting more/deeper sleep and increasing our REM sleep, which is when we dream.
• Some of us are sleeping in, and REM sleep is more likely to occur late in the sleep cycle.
• An increase in stress and anxiety leads to more negative dreams.
• Due to stress, we’re waking up more and therefore remembering our dreams.
• Activation of the Limbic system, which deals with emotions, and is both associated with fear and especially active during dreams (our fight or flight brain area).
• The limbic system in the mid-brain deals with emotions in both waking and dreaming and includes the amygdala, which is mostly associated with fear and is especially active during dreams.
• Our dreams our preparing us for the difficult situations we experience during the day.

Scientist Steve’s personal theory is intriguing: serotonin is connected with both vigilance and with dreams. Serotonin reduces fear vigilance. We may be depleting our serotonin as we focus during the daytime on our fears; we need more serotonin to reduce our fear vigilance. Serotonin is the neurotransmitter most notably associated with dream activity. The active dreams and REM sleep may be providing us with more serotonin that we need to combat our fears. (No blame to Scientist Steve if I didn’t get that quite right!)

This morning, I managed to recall last nights dream and get it written down as soon as I got up. While it wasn’t about the virus per se, the allegory was obvious. I was injured in a very minor car accident, with someone from my distant past, and in the blink of an eye I realized that my entire life was changed and would never return to its pre-accident state. How’s that for my subconscious trying to work things out!

Maybe I’ll go to the covid-19 dream blog and see if I can post a dream or two for the sake of historical documentation.

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Dream Blog: : https://www.idreamofcovid.com/dreams

Vox article: https://www.vox.com/the-goods/2020/4/9/21215312/quarantine-vivid-dreams-psychologist-q-and-a

Smithsonian Magazine: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/insomnia-and-vivid-dreams-rise-pandemic-anxiety-180974726/

Tuesday May 5, 2020

Many years ago, I read John Irving’s “A Prayer for Owen Meany.” In it, Owen believes he is God’s instrument and sets out to fulfill the fate he has prophesied for himself. The novel sparked a longtime fascination with the concepts of chance vs. fate. Then, a fondness for serendipity: “the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way.” Who doesn’t love a stroke of luck, right?

Part of my theory was that you increase the opportunities for serendipity by getting out in the world, and being open to new experiences. Each new location, person, event increases the chance of encountering something fortuitous.

How does one do this in shutdown? YouTube. Yes!!! I’d never really played too much attention to it. I’d always preferred written instruction to YouTube videos. So, it’s been a truly delightful to see how YouTube has brought serendipity into my life. If you have some time to kill, I’d encourage you to give it a spin and see where it takes you. Thank you to the mysterious YouTube algorithms and may they continue to work their magic!

• While watching a hula-hoop instructional video, YouTube recommended a live 1972 Stevie Wonder performance in Germany. It was delightful, and I hula-hooped and danced away the afternoon.
• While watching Gov. Cuomo, YouTube recommended a video on how to make easy Turkish bread. It was quick, fun, and will forever be my go to recipe for Bazlama, or pita bread (see photo from Day 52).
• YouTube tempted me to watch an old Jenny Can Cook video of homemade cinnamon rolls. Her cinnamon rolls have quickly become a weekly event in my house (see photo from Day 52). I later learned that Jenny was a ‘girl drummer’ in the 60s/70s, then an early female comedian, and hosted the national talk show, Jenny Jones, in the 90s. Her recipes are winners! 
• When the Gilmore Keyboard Festival was canceled, they launched some recordings and live streams from the artists who were supposed to perform this month in Kalamazoo. One such live performance was jazz pianist Emmet Cohen. I enjoyed it so much, I joined his YouTube station. Now, every Monday at 7:30 ET I can “sit” in his living room and listen to an amazing jazz trio live from New York. It’s delightful.
• The list goes on and on…..hours of bird videos that I listen to while flitting about the house, a moonlit beach with waves, and a reintroduction to film noir of the 40s and 50s. Check out 1945 Detour.

Here’s to chance, 21^st century style!

Day 52, Monday May 4, 2020: Chronophagic

Yes, its sort of a curse word, but not in the way you’re thinking! Literally, something that is “time-eating,” or Chronophage, a “time eater.”

Where have I been and what have I been up to the last 21 days? The sad truth is, nothing of much consequence. I haven’t been studying Spanish, or taking up gardening, or learning to knit/crochet/sew, or learning the latest TicTok dance (although I have been dancing in the family room), or _____ (fill in the blank.) So, where does the time go, I’ve been trying to understand. The answer is that like all of us, I’m trying to get a handle on this new life, trying to fill my days, and trying to figure out what I’m doing and where I’m going, metaphorically speaking since I’m not going anywhere in the literal sense. It’s a dichotomy for sure; I’m at home with lots of time on my hand, yet the hours/days/weeks seem to disappear in a flash. At the end of the day, I maybe have a plate of cinnamon rolls. And, yes of course, I understand that those of you who are working, homeschooling, worried about elderly parents would probably give an eye-tooth to only have cinnamon rolls on the docket for the day.

The good news, my anchor activities have been good: walking, exercising, baking, helping run my husbands weekly Facebook Livestream (guitar/vocals), and some very enjoyable virtual social hours. These don’t fill a day, so the chronophagic activities have been too much news, and then some more news, along with a dose of meandering around the house wondering what I’m supposed to be doing that day. I can only assume I’m not alone in this.

So, I try to ask myself what I want my time on ‘pause’ to actually look like. Yes, I would like to learn Spanish, but not sure I have the focus right now to support that. Sadly. The baking and some cooking is completely good: Sourdough bread, focaccia, cinnamon rolls, Turkish bazlama, popovers, flour tortillas, brownies, pound cakes, cookies. I know I’m not alone in this, either, as there is apparently a flour shortage due to the increase in home baking.

So, maybe getting back to my blogging might be a good use of my time. It won’t feed me, but it will nourish me.

Thanks for listening.

Day 31, Monday April 13, 2020: An Essential Trip to Walmart

A couple of days ago, Steve’s phone rang. It was RJ, a friend he’d met several years back while looking at guitars in Indiana. Since RJ lives a state away, we’ve met up with him and his wife Gail on occasion over the years. Steve took a memorable road-trip with RJ to Nashville, where he found his favorite guitar, a custom-made Solomon archtop.

The recent call between RJ and Steve went something like this:

            Steve, answering the ringing phone: Hello

            RJ: Hello…who is this?

            Steve: RJ, it’s Steve. You just called me.

            RJ: Oh Steve! Hi! I must have dialed you by accident. I was calling people I care about.

That’s RJ. A laugh a minute. In any case, RJ shared one of his recent email blogs with us, and is graciously allowing me to share with you. Enjoy.

An Essential Trip to Walmart

By, RJ Monroe

My wife and I decided to make an essential trip to Walmart this morning. I emphasize the word essential mind you. This was not a trip to the bad side of town to score black market, Chinese test kits. No sir! That would be un-American. We went to Walmart for groceries. Believe me.

To eliminate a bit of the stress and anxiety we have come up with a fun little game. In this game we keep track of how many breaches to the social distancing protocols that we have during the shopping experience. Each occurrence is assigned a score value and the scores are adjusted for the category of vulnerability that an individual falls into. It goes something like this. Anytime you pass inside of 6 feet of another shopper it is a “near miss” with a score of 3 points. I am over 65 with a vulnerability multiplier of 2. Take the score of 3, multiply by 2 = 6 points. There are different scores assigned for the severity of the breach. Get the picture?

As I write I can’t help but think about my younger days when we would hop in my friend’s convertible to cruise Main Street and “pick up chicks”. Now, at 72 I’m pushing a shopping cart down the grocery isle to “pick up pathogens”. The difference being that pathogens are substantially less lethal. However, I digress. Let’s get back to the game.

Similar to golf each player is on the honor system, keeps their own score card, and the lowest score wins. Are there any questions boys and girls? Ok …. Grab your shopping carts and let’s get ‘er done!

Of all places the first incursion I experienced was in the toilet paper isle. I must confess that I had my guard down, I became complacent! The shelves were completely empty! Who would have thought there would be another person wondering aimlessly down an isle with no merchandise? But bingo! This was scored as a near miss. Three points adjusted for my age for a total of 6. Given that par for this isle is zero I was off to a bad start.

My second incursion came at the deli counter. I was bending down to pick up a pillow pack of Margarita thick sliced pepperoni. Without warning I could feel it. It was an odd gravitational sense. The hair on my arm stood up with small electrical discharges as we made direct contact. When I looked up I swear I saw this grotesque figure with welts and an iridescent orange glow. I have no idea what color the Coronavirus is. Perhaps someone out there knows. However, on second glance, to my relief, it was just an ordinary guy buying some Oscar Mayer hard salami. It may have been a harmless encounter but it was scored as a “midair collision”. Eight points multiplied by 2. Sixteen points added to my scorecard plus the 6 from the near miss for a total of 22.

Although there is no official score for this I did answer an age old mystery. “If there is no such thing as a stupid question then what kind of questions do stupid people ask?” I went to the pharmacy department and asked, “Where can I can find face masks?”. The lady looked at me like I had just got off the rickshaw from Wuhan. WRONG! Proceed directly to jail. Do not pass go.

I’m thinking of calling the game Pandemic Pinball. The visual being people randomly colliding with objects and other people while going about their business. I’m not sure. What do you think?

Day 29: Saturday April 11, 2020: Robins, Graupel, and Painted Rocks

Over the past week, I’ve gone through various emotions and they’ve mimicked the weather. Sun and 70; snow; sleet; large hail; and, graupel (more on that later). And so have my emotions been. Some days I just haven’t felt like doing a darn thing. As many have lately pointed out, there have been plagues, and natural disasters, and human-made disasters forever ever and ever and ever. My great-great grandparents lived through the civil war; my grandparents WWI and the Spanish flu; they and my parents through the depression; and, my parents through WWII, the Korean war, and Vietnam, my father having served in all three wars.  There is nothing new under the sun, and we will get through this disaster as well. Knowing this has been a comfort. Life goes on.

The Robins know this. I’ve seen them in a flurry of activity this week. They are busy getting ready for nesting season and pulling up worms in the yard. They know that in spite of the weather, spring is on its way and they can count on it. However, as we inch closer to this glorious season, Winter will continue to raise its head and fight for its share of attention. This week I saw something new on my deck. Very tiny pellets. Not snow, not hail, not sleet. I learned its name – graupel: water droplets that freeze on falling snowflakes.

Tomorrow is Easter, and I was surprised this morning with an unexpected “Easter egg.” My husband spotted it as we went for a walk. In the crook of a tree by my driveway, there it was, not a mushroom as he first thought, but a blue painted stone. This tiny gift made my heart sing, as it had clearly been “planted.” Another neighbor had reported something similar in her Nextdoor post. Only now, while writing this, I learn it’s a “thing:” The Kindness Rock Project. I’ll have to read up on it and learn what I’m supposed to do in exchange. What a sweet way for someone in my neighborhood to show they care. Here’s to the children….our future.